JOMO: The Leadership Antidote to FOMO and FOBI
Curt Archambault, FMP
Education Strategist, CHART | Partner Consultant, People & Performance Strategies
A year later, a missing piece clicks into place
A little over a year ago, I wrote about two opposing forces that quietly shape how we show up in our personal and professional lives: FOMO (Fear of Missing Out) and FOBI (Fear of Being Included). This article was more about teams, but here is the link if you are interested in reading it.
FOMO pulls us toward everything.
FOBI pushes us away from too much.
Both are fear-based responses. Just aimed in opposite directions.
Recently, while reading the opening chapter of The Joy of Missing Out by Christina Crook, I was reminded that there is a third posture. One that is not driven by fear at all. JOMO (Joy of Missing Out).
What struck me was not that JOMO was new. It is not. The concept has been circulating since at least 2014, long before it became a social media counterpunch to hustle culture. What struck me was that JOMO quietly answers the tension I explored in my earlier article.
It is not about opting out.
It is about opting in with clarity and peace.
What JOMO Actually Is
JOMO is often framed as the opposite of FOMO, but that framing sells it short.
JOMO is not avoidance.
It is not withdrawal.
It is not indifference.
JOMO is intentional absence paired with genuine contentment.
Where FOMO asks, “What if I miss something better?”
JOMO asks, “Is this what I want to be present for?”
That distinction matters. A lot.
FOMO and FOBI both originate from external pressure. JOMO comes from internal alignment.
A Surprising JOMO Moment from Landman
This landed for me unexpectedly while watching Landman. Not a show I am particularly invested in. Featuring Jerry Jones. Also, not someone I typically quote for life wisdom.
Yet there is a scene where Jerry Jones is speaking to Jon Hamm’s character while Hamm is hospitalized with heart failure. Without giving too much away, Jerry reflects on his life choices, his work, and the cost of always being “on.”
What he describes is not regret.
It is not bravado.
It is acceptance.
He talks about choosing what mattered to him, knowing full well that those choices meant missing other things. And he owns that tradeoff without apology or nostalgia.
That moment was pure JOMO.
Not because he missed out.
Because he chose deliberately, lived fully in those choices, and made peace with what he left behind.
That is JOMO at its most honest.
Why This Matters for Leaders
Leaders live at the intersection of expectation, access, and demand. Everything feels important. Everything feels urgent. Everything wants time on the calendar.
This is where FOMO shows up as over-commitment.
This is where FOBI shows up as disengagement.
JOMO offers a third way.
JOMO helps leaders:
- Make cleaner decisions by prioritizing impact over activity
- Model healthy boundaries without disengaging
- Create psychological safety by normalizing thoughtful “no’s”
- Increase trust by making “yes” mean something again
Teams feel the difference immediately. When leaders operate from JOMO, meetings are sharper, priorities are clearer, and energy is protected instead of drained.
People stop performing busyness and start producing results.
JOMO and Team Dynamics
JOMO also gives teams shared language.
Some team members lean toward FOMO. They want inclusion, updates, and visibility.
Others lean toward FOBI. They want space, focus, and autonomy.
JOMO allows leaders to honor both without judgment.
It says:
We will be intentional about where we spend our collective energy.
We will not confuse presence with value.
We will not equate participation with commitment.
That is how healthy cultures scale.
The Real Takeaway
FOMO asks you to chase.
FOBI asks you to retreat.
JOMO asks you to choose.
And that choice, made consistently, is where peace shows up. Not just personally, but organizationally.
Before the next meeting invite, initiative, or “quick ask,” pause and ask:
- Is this a yes driven by fear?
- Is this a no driven by avoidance?
- Or is this a decision rooted in intention?
Leaders who learn to operate from JOMO do not do less.
They do what matters.
And they do it without looking over their shoulder.
